According to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, people’s differences and their individual personalities determine the different ways that they feel most loved by those around them. The five love languages are Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Learning your significant other’s love language this Valentine’s Day and showing them love in such a way befitting that love language can deepen the connection and appreciation that you have with and for one another.
This Valentine’s Day, consider trying some activities to show your partner love in the best way they can receive it. If you or your partner do not know your love language, you can take the official test here!
Acts of service
Ask your partner to think of a list of a few household chores that are particularly unpleasant to them. This may be cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc. Make your significant other coffee, tea or another drink of choice and ask them to relax by doing an activity they enjoy, such as reading, watching a favorite TV show or listening to music or a podcast. Then, take an hour or so to complete some of the chores on their list. At the end of the hour, your partner will feel loved and well rested.
Create a thoughtful care package for your significant other with some of their favorite items. Include their favorite snacks, candy, flowers or self-care items. Find a good photo of the two of you, and have it printed on photo paper, which can be done on Amazon or at Walmart or CVS, among others. Write a note on the back of the photo and place it in a frame that your partner would like. You can find baskets online or in stores like Walmart, Target or HomeGoods. Consider placing tissue paper or crinkle cut shredded paper filler at the bottom of the basket for an added touch.
This Valentine’s Day, sit down with your significant other and come up with a non-stressful activity that both of you enjoy. Some examples may be reading together, doing a puzzle, working out, going for a nature walk, watching the sunset, etc. Then carve out some time in the day to do this activity. Eliminate distractions such as technology, and make sure that responsibilities have already been taken care of so that you are not worried about when you are supposed to be spending time with one another.
Words of affirmation
Make a list of things that you like about your partner on individual sticky notes or on a piece of paper (if you write them on the paper, you will need to cut them out later). This list should be relatively long, and can include aspects of their personality that you like or find interesting, things about them that you admire or ways that they make you happy. Fold the individual sticky notes or pieces of paper and place them in a jar or decorative bowl. Your partner will then be able to read a reason why you love them next time they need to feel cared for.
Grab a bottle of lotion or massage oil, and offer to give your partner a neck and back massage. Move your thumbs from either side of the base of their spine up to their neck, applying consistent pressure. Stop along the way and move your thumbs in circles. When you reach their neck, repeat the steps, moving slightly further from their spine on each side. For additional pressure, make a fist and complete the steps using your knuckles. Then, pinch either side of their neck with your pointer finger and thumb, apply consistent pressure and move them in circles.
By getting in touch with the 5 Love Languages, your significant other will feel loved and understood, and the connection that you have with them will be able to mature and deepen much more naturally. This Valentine’s Day, have fun getting to know and love each other better!