This time of year, there’s a lot of talk about thankfulness and joy, about cookies and traditions, about gifts and gravy. It’s also the time for wishes. Making some, granting others.
When it comes to total health, I have plenty to be thankful for, yes. I’m mostly healthy, like to exercise and have not had any major scares or issues. For that, I am gracious. But as someone who has yo-yoed with weight and has spent many years in the pursuit of a better body, I also have a wellness wish list. It looks a little something like this.
»»One meal a week where you can opt out of all of the calories.
»» Compression underwear that has permanent effects.
»» To get up in the morning without my joints feeling like rotted wood.
»» Running clothes manufacturers to understand that there are runners who wear sizes larger than large.
»» More downward dog, and less sitward slug.
»» For my swimming pace to improve from “barge” to “tug boat.”
»» To make a commitment to do my annual doctor diagnostics — general, eye, dermatologist and so on — on the same day. A sort of medical new year’s.
»» For the following to stop back talking: the scale, the blood-pressure machine, the mirror and my lower back.
»» For my running pace to improve from “dead bug” to “desperate worm trying to get out of the sun.”
»» Coffee fountains.
»» One. Bleeping. Pullup.
»» To enjoy a plate of mashed potatoes without looking like one.
»» To stop sweating sometime sooner than three hours after finishing a pre-work workout.
»» For asparagus to taste like cheese.
Here’s to a healthy and happy holiday season to you and your families. May all of your wishes come true, especially if they involve mashed potatoes.
Ted Spiker (@ProfSpiker) is the chair of the University of Florida department of journalism, as well as a health and fitness writer. He is the author of DOWN SIZE, a book about the science and soul of weight loss and dieting.