Finally figured out why I’ve split a seam or two in my day. I’ve been using the wrong dieting playbook! Maybe it’s time to draw up new plays:
1/ ALL-OUT BLITZ
Clean out the fridge and pantry in one late- night attack.
2/ SHOVEL PASS
Head hunched over pot, ladle firmly gripped, steady and strong motion to transfer gravy.
My bad, thought you said “tumbler” and “brewski.”
4/ CURL ROUTE
Mug-to-mouth. Mug-to-mouth. Mug-to-mouth. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
When nobody’s looking, swipe four to eight fries off a neighboring plate.
Maybe for once, some portions of what’s on your plate could go to the dogs, the disposal or for tomorrow?
Don’t leave a coffee cake on top of it, for the love of delicious crumbly bits!
3/ SKINNY POST
Upload progress photos on IG.
4/ STATUE OF LIBERTY
Mouth stays frozen and stoic even as the cheesecake passes under the nose.
5/ VICTORY FORMATION
One day, a smile while stepping on the scale?
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